Rough

Jamaica

Sicily

Someday.

Reminders.

"These things are but shadows"

Dear group:

I'm enjoying my life now.
That is certain.
You no longer loom over my sleep
Or my thoughts
Or make me sad.
Thought I'm sure you'll
Go on to do good things
I'll happily smile from
Across the street.
Because I've learned
To not stay with
What traps or hurts you.

So though you're
Not happy with my
Choices in the past
Few weeks, remember
How hard you bit this
Hand that tried to feed you.

Though I usually ask people
Who have a problem with me to
Tell me to my face,
I ask you not to.

No.

Enough is enough.
Leave me alone
As I have left you alone

-jcjr

thanks ;-)

"Do you have Yuengling?"

"Sure, draft?"

"Yes, please."

"And for you?"

"I'll have a Blue Moon."

Mine as well. Right?
It's a drink I love. My favorite beer.
Just something I discovered...
Oh wait. No I didn't.

If I had to list the amount of issues I have
I'm sure I could fill a newspaper.
You're right. This is not how I wanted to spend
the last semester. The end. Maybe I've done
what I've done because I thought it really was
the end, and it's really just another beginning.
And these strong little conversations between
us are reminders that lives continue.
And we haven't forgotten
one solitary thing.
Not one thing.
But that's only to be expected.
It's a mad world out there.
And I think it's finally dawned on me that
the most important thing,
 at least for the time being,
is to have someone to trust.
It doesn't matter who they are.
Or who they're seeing
Or what they've heard
Or where they're going
Or when they'll come and go
Or why things ended up this way.
Because the history doesn't matter
when you know you can trust them.

"Thank you." I say.
Then a smile. There it is. I've missed it.
Then a message. One I could trust.
Then a response.

Or should I have called?
No. Yes. Fuck.
I can never decide these things.
But somehow if I ended up
on a voicemail, I think the
message would sound like this:
...BEEP...

"Hey, I know this is a surprise phone call but, thanks for today. I really...uhh...I think I really needed it. And umm... You can always trust me too. Look, I know I disappoint you a lot and talk-is-cheap, but you're the most honest trustworthy person I know. OK. I think that's it for now. Have fun in Vegas! See you soon." 

"the people called it RAGTIME!!!!"

so sad that this is closing Jan. 10th. GET YOU TICKETS NOW!!!!

Entr`acte

It had been quite a year. From Elvis-inspired beats pulsing through his veins, to writing. From Italy to Mexico. And back to the USA. He remembered every detail. Every "ciao bella," every note from that 20's musical, the smell of his body, the night he and his friend almost got arrested, and the clink her glass of C'de Menthe made when it kissed the rim of his Martini. And when he decided it was over. Because he knew what was right.

"I'm disappointed in you," was the tepid response that he received.

Disappointed.

As disappointed as we was with himself? He hated lies. He refused to lie. But who's going to hell if that lie is okay to make yourself believe? And he decided, rather abruptly, to start over. He imagined that she'd be confused. She would have questions he could not answer because he wasn't sure how to answer them to himself. Time would pass. She would get through the election. Time would pass. She would pray not to be strangers. Time would pass.

And he would search for answers. And he would take the time to finally figure out who he is after over 10, 11, 12 years. Finally figuring out what it means to be close to the real God, not the Westboro Baptist God (and the variations that most protestant churches have taken from them).

And suddenly, an unfortunate incident happened. And he couldn't help himself. It was time. Enough of this. Maybe time heals things? Alters things? Maybe she wasn't as disappointed this time? Maybe a step back was good for everyone, and now maybe she knows.

They talked. And talked, and talked some more. About things on the surface. Nothing drastic or life changing. No "where the fuck have you been for the past three months?" No "learning how to be a 'college student' for the first time in my life."

It was simple. Easy. Painless.

He hoped it could have even been longer. But he told her that there was more to talk about. She agreed. He know she'd found love in another. And now they could be friends.

"Have a good night," was the warmer response he received. It was progress. Finally for both of them. A conversation. Did he feel sorry for what he did to her? Yes. Did he feel like time had changed things? Yes

After all, it was still 2009. The year of change. And it's never to late to change your life...

its the least i could do.

good night daisy

Only we will know.

Together the friendly 

find their house on a 

wideshot moving back

to restrain a couple 

making strokes on a 

confused canvas, not

knowing where they 

will be tomorrow.

Tonight, after the 

door slid shut, I 

wondered what slipped

into that mind

or what rolled down

those cheeks, or if

I had made a decision 

for the both of us

or I am a terrible person

in a non-sarcastic way this time.

not for bringing you along

but for letting it escape me.

But do not cut the face

out of the photos

or tear the cards or 

forget the number

Do not forget the

trips to the city

or in the music

or across the ocean.

They are not gone

they are not over

Nothing died

Because only we will know.

So do not search for an

empty space under the quilt

It's never empty.

The furnace burns

But only we will know

I go exploring

but never leave 

No.

I never leave

I never die

I haven't yet.

No.

I'm Alive.

"Now that day is over,

night is drawing nigh,
shadows of the evening
steal across the sky.
Now the darkness gathers,
stars begin to peep,
birds, and beasts and flowers

soon will be asleep."