"Dream About The Days To Come" - 9

I have a search
in me. Its a gene.
I wonder if anyone else
in my line is the same?
Scares me. They don't
succeed very far. They
are all the same. So
sometimes I go
further than they
have...and i take a
step back
and try to calculate
if i am able to be as
great as i want to be. I
see myself going far
but none of them have.
am i any of them?
Can i go further. I mean
I already have...further than
all of men who made me
and i am still young. I'm
ready for greatness...

Scary is it?
Don't be afraid
The search is
closing in.
The time is
getting shorter
The countdown
gets older
The hair
grayer- strange
I just say gray
in the mirror this morning.
There is more to this world
that we can imagine.
Which is good
but we often search
for it. What do we find?
Is it being found?

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 8

I am
writing all over
the page today,
waiting for them
to come. To let me
serve them. So many
people in my life. They
have been so good to me
Here, I give back, polietly
Honestly, I give back
ALl of them, they come
before me. And now
I put them before
me. I hope that
at this point
they find
happiness in
the kind
words
that i
offer them.
I really do.

I suddenly have realized that we are at the halfway point
on the notebook. Because i keep everything written down
in a notebook. Before i publish, i write it out. In ink on
paper. No typing. Nothing new. The same way man has
communicated his thoughts for hundreds of years.
I am still here. I feel it now. Now it is sinking in. You
really are THAT FAR AWAY. And further today. But this is
all written in the seam, the middle, where the two
halves make a whole. And where we realize we are half
way through our time apart. You said you didn't want to
return home. You must take your time. Settle. Let the
two halves make a whole. As ours have.

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 7

(1) early morning

Papers posted, a
certain message that
i reluctantly blew off
but slowly makes more
sense now. I feel connected
to all of them
It reads:
"We may not have it all together
but together we have it all"
When you are near me
when i feel you
or
when your words
are sent to me across
the planet, across
what now is time
and very much space
They are my new days
My breaths. They are
me- together
with you
I will be the first
to admit that i don't have
it all together, but i
will admit that
together -
and i dont know how you
feel,- but i know that
together- i am full.
you must feel the same way
Together i am no longer
searching alone
I feel that the search
births together

I never knew my
little search while
you were away,
my search to open up
to find whatever came my way
would lead me to God,
an intimate personal God
An awakening between
what i believe
and what they think i "should" believe
A search that brought me farther
from you than i've
ever been,
and closer to you
than i've ever imagined.
No one ever taught
me what true
pleasure is
They all taught me
me that pleasure
in any shape or for
must be an abomination -
at my age at least

Teach me what it is
help me find it
don't let me search it alone...
-------------------------
(2) midday

we communicated today
so nice to have one-on-one
without worrying if the other person
opens the sent message
oh for the love of technology
how marvelous
it has been
every word read from your
finger tips.
our conversation
our connection
even if it is only electronic...
1AM tuesday
3:30PM monday over here
I am still baffled by the time
i miss you but i feel your
words close to me I see the pictures
the water the sunsets the trees and most
lustfully, the location. So far from
all of them, so isolated. But we
all know what an exotic locale
can do to those isolated there
We've been there before

"If you try, you'll find me
Where the skies reach the sea
here am I, your special island
come to me, come to me" r&h
-------------------------
7(3) - NIGHT


PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING - BUS 221 - E1
Instructor: ROBERT POWELL
Instructional Center Rm. 432
6PM-9:10PM
MAY 19TH - JUNE 5TH, 2008
SUMMER SESSION #1
TAKEN FOR YOU
-
I could have taken
something less effort-some
but you recommended it
and i trust you with these things
i should
do this.

I am sitting here now
gray slacks
blue sweater over a white
button up with blue stripes
brown shoes, gray, slightly
balding
typical college professor
they say he is good.
but i'm guessing he's nothing
special, but we all know, however
to not follow first impressions...
sometimes
He hasn't spoken yet.
Glasses
smart?
This is for you love.
Sailing easy
The first class
i've taken out of
love for another person
Soft-voice
laid-back
easy going

here we go...

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 6

church today

"How to find Truth"
was the message of the
day. Telling me that
if you believe in what we
teach you will be called
intolerant, narrow-minded,
judgmental.
but
that's
okay
That teaching
tolerance in our school is
corrupting our youth

I dont thinking
tolerance
is the problem.

Notice...the nice ones,
the examples,
like me
are tolerant,
accepting, we dont
judge terribly.
Am I suppose
to be opposite of this?
Are we meant to be this way?
Aren't the corrupted ones
the intolerant,
judgemental,
narrow-minded
shallow, sheltered-from-the-world ones
who honestly think
there is only one
way??????????
Correct me if i'm wrong
but shouldn't God
want us to be tolerant,
to be perceptive to the
realities of the world?
Not brainwashed by
religious propaganda.
It must sicken Him when
he sees the travesties we have
done to each other because
we hate another type of person
and we hide behind God to
be "allowed" to hate them.
because no matter what
you want to call it
even if you want to
approach the "foreigners"
in a nice way
and still change them
then it's still hate
the way i see it.

and you...in India
do they teach their
devotion?
their prayers for the world
for peace
for our
own devotion.
Will they burn
in hell because
they are saying the
wrong prayers?
or aren't a certain way
or accepting of the way
the creator created?
tell me
i pray for you
over there and
i pray you might
find the solace
their lives teach
that you are in the midst of
and that i am forced away from
Stuck in their
"christian white nation"

just last week
i taught with my
talents against
everything they
taught me today...

i won't believe it.
nice try.

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 5

I've enjoyed pleasures tonight
self-indulging pleasures.
Food: pasta to perfection
shrimp, chicken, fries
and wine. All shared at
our dinner table
The mood very tense as
they talked about
a stupid washed out
lesson- or someone
who can't focus and
can't be self-sufficient
enough to finish the work
himself. These children
the ones that fail school
and have their parents
do the work for them. These kids...
what will happen to them
once out of college?
Will their mommies help
then, because they
certainly will hand-feed
them in college. Theses boys
and girls don't know.
They have no grasp on
the real world
only marked by a
mother that yells and
screams, but eventually gives in
and this teaches no lesson.

I slept most of the day
to escape them. But i also
read something. Slowly my
search is getting broader
and my steps are getting
quicker to what I'm looking for.
The book is teaching me
love, pleasure, devotion. I've been
brainwashed
into believing
that there is
only one
way to
God.
But we are part of
the univers and
there are many parts
weather we wish to believe
them or not. I must take them.
Someone told me once "I
think we all have to find our
own spiritual paths" And suddenly
it began to make very strange
very warm, and
very clear
sense.

Yet tomorrow
my parents ask me
to go back to that place.
Not that i hate it there
But I'm searching for my
way to God. It will
be my first time back
since my portrayal of the
evil Reverend. I am not
ready.
In preparation every night
for the role- to build my anger to
all good, I'd repeat back in my head all
the things that were taught to me
that i never
agreed
with.
EVER!
but was
forced down
my throat
because it
was the
"only way"
narrow-minded
ill-confident
selflessness.
Afraid of our
own shadows.
Afraid of what
our body
tells us.
Repressing
our feelings
they must be sins.

God is here
He is real
He wants me
I must find my
path to him...

The fifth day brought me
closer to you than
i've ever been.

If you can hear me
study the japa mala
and pick one up
for me
if
you get a change
you are in my prayers

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 4

The green glass
reflects my face
but only mine. A
glass of deep purple.
Last time i had the red
wine i was with you.
I look into the glass
Into the reflection
of the liquid. I see
your face in my third
fill. My head spins
unnaturally.
My mind whirls
It opens
I see you
Slowly you come
into focus I see the
past moments
when we kissed
"I love you too...
you know that?"

of course i
know that.
And after my
third glass
the truth is that
i want all of you
I am afraid sometimes
Not normal We should
have certain instincts
Perhaps i am not
some sick pig
or i don't react that way
i should.
carefully taught to fear!
But my mind cancels
the functions.
I want you
I love you
You are my glass of wine
my second
and my
third.

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 3

I feel something
it might be my
dinner not agreeing
with my stomach
Another thought...
I am searching
for something
Searching. And I
hope to find it by
the end of this
period of continuum
The next 12 days
is all thats left.
The deadline. Am i
suppose to be upset
that you are on the
"flip side" ??
Because i dont know
what to feel
there are plenty
of times
i might have failed
you. Will you
return to
me?
Will you still
love me on
your return?
Is my body
strong enough
for you?
my arms, my
muscles, my
torso, my legs
my brain?
Do not answer these
questions
Let me have them.
let me think them out

I need to get out
of this. Soon I
will be as you are.
All around the world
With much patience
I will catch up
Patience on both sides
Still in search.
Not of a person...just...searching...
Nor for a thing.
Neither an answer.
Just searching
for what might
be meant to be.
I will find it
I am not searching
for anything, only
for whatever might fall
upon me in the days
to come.

Enjoy the party
and I'll enjoy mine.