"Dream About The Days To Come" - 2

Early,
sitting in a
stuffy office
for orientation at
the job. Trying
to keep my eyes
open, but briefly
they close, and drift
to other images.
the ones i've created
in my mind.
oh those fascinations!
it is then that the drone of
her words fuse together
meld into some stew of
whatever might be more
important, and for a
fraction of
time the
image of
you rushes
into my
mind.

strange what only
two days can harbor
Reminds me of the
20 years we were apart
I only saw you
once before. I know
i did. And only brief
seconds of the show
can be recollected
I remember the song
but not the person
it was so long ago,
i dont remember
any of them.
but just the thought
that on that day i
saw you.
oblivious
to the future
we might have
together. the
history, the
feelings, the emotions
YES here in the stuffy
office my blood surges
through my body,
deep and dark
having this
stranger with a wig
talk about useless skills
yet in the neighboring room
a fuzzy radio pours out
dramatic classical melodies
energized
romantic
classing
brinking on a feeling
to come, a kiss to ensue

this place is clean
nice. the people
are in another time
a time i was meant to
see but never did.
why do i feel an odd
connection
like i've seen them
some of them
before
somewhere else
younger.
much younger.
they knew me
and i knew them
we were equal
but now they are
less able
and i am unchanged
outside: youth
"the all-american boy, probably
out playing football with his
buddies" as one lady described me
inside: torture
some of them i saw in
a drive-in. a pharmacy while
picking up a bottle of coke
backseat of a car in an
abandoned lot having
a cigarette with another.
its just a strange idea in my head
but why do i remember details
bits of the conversations...
will i age?

do what i must
but keep searching
you...so far away
i am starting to
recognize it now
you really are
there. and i am
always here
always for you

"Dream About The Days To Come" - 1

(randomly at work, i grabbed a pocket journal that i was carrying in my back pocket and began to write about distance, considering LVE is on the opposite side of the planet, strange feelings...just the fact that she is in another day - monday, and it's still sunday over here. existence. baffles me. Have a safe trip love!)

I still can
feel you here
like you've never
gone away
As If you still
might be down
in your home.
No alteration of
emotions except
that I've kissed you
goodbye the night before last
and tonight you
are on the other
side of the
planet

We were as close as two
humans could get
and now as far away as
two humans can be
save for death
apart in location
but i feel together with
the thought of the kiss

A long day for me
and one ahead
Might she think of me
a brief moment as she forgets
the rest of us...as she should!
That you might return fresh
changed...

my body is here
but my energy spans
the globe

tormented

dont fade
not this way
not like this
this is not us
shards of sanity
torments of pressure
where do
we say enough
where do
we pick up
the pieces
where do
we go
from
here.

its not
meant to
be this way
is this how they
really are?
never knowing
what they want?
is this what
real is?
is this who you
gave so much to?
do they bite
the hands
that feed them?

might i?
might i tenderly
quietly, slowly
with great caution?
might i gingerly
move towards your
figure?
might i hesitantly
outstretch gentle
fingers in yours?
might i slowly
without a rhythm
close my eyes?
and gently kiss
the lips of
the
one
tormented with
the surrounding
darkly?
might i tell
her tonight
that i love her?
that i've never
stopped loving her?
might she reply?
might she disappear
to the other side of
the world?
might we share a
moment?
a few seconds?
anything?
this runs my
mind, i dare not
ask...
i dare not
deserve her
but i will dare myself

"my life seems unreal
my crime, an illusion,
a scene badly written
in which i must play
yet i know as i gaze
at my young love beside me
the morning is just a few
hours away" s&g

caught

you never fail
you always have me
we fall sometimes
and i will catch
but as a human
i can only
hope for
you to
be here
for me when
i'm as i shouldn't be
for me when
i need your touch
for me when
i yearn for laughter
for me when
i need something beautiful
to gaze upon
for me when
i need to be caught.
and i will be there for you
and i will play you
the music and sing
you the tunes and
act you the words
and enough of us will
be caught
caught in love
caught in our
conditions
caught in time
and suddenly
caught
timeless
for each other
always
always
always...

"True, it may seem like a stretch
But it's thoughts like this
That catch my troubled head
When you're away, when
I am missing you to death"
-I&W

catch me

i've been
wondering
recently
if i am
slowly
slip
ing
a
w
a
y

there
is an ache
in my throat
something must
have been strained
when i belted out those
songs i'd hadn't heard in
such a very long time
and perhaps it wont
make everyone
happy but i
cant help
their

Fight To Be Noticed

it goes from my throat
to the back of my
neck to my
chest to
my head
to my
eyes
and
eve
ryt
hi
ng
e
l
s
e

seriously, i try these lines
i try these characters
i try the motions
i try i try i try
i want them
all to know
i want to
be all that
i can be for
you but
tonight
i felt
dry and
sick and
as if i
might
be su
dden
ly sl
ipp
ing
aw
ay.
...
...
..
..
.
.
.

"i was meant
to raise these
hands with
quiet all
about
me"
-the decemberists

you should have seen yourself

you should
have seen
yourself
the light
lit darkness
with shadows
sharp across
our faces
we look to
our sides
and see each other
we look to
the front
and see the brick
wall of the 100
year old beauty.
if only we were
100 and just
as beautiful

and like it
we must clear
out the debris
rebuild
re-light
reset
and rediscover
what magic
passed before
and bring it back
but like each
great show
an ending
a cross roads
we face our
difficulties
our weaknesses
and find what makes
us compatible
and not
we find in
our moments
of fear, what makes
us look fierce is
only fear with
strength driving it
and we've found it

you should
have seen
yourself
pouring out
letting me
know
who you are
holding my
hand as i
discover the
human condition
God is not something
we should learn about
in church
Philosophy is not something
we should learn about
in school
Life is not something
we should be told
Life experience will
teach of all of these
great mysteries
if you hold my hand
"i feel an energy between us
can i hold your hand?
i like the contact"

no matter the
tempest of feelings
no matter the
complications
no matter if
we stay or go
just hold my hand

"So never leave me lonely
Tell me you love me only
And that you'll always let it be me"
-everly brothers

to speak frankly

a Polymath
once wrote that
"nothing is worth
more
than this day"
and i think
nothing truer
might have
encapsulated
the essence
of our time
here.

there
is something
basic
yet complex
there
is something
strange and mysterious
something mystics
can't explain
something in
me
with you
that was discovered
and flourished
and
produced a light
that glows
in our veins
in our mind
and in
our meaning
and our faults
and our victories

rediscovered
when i see
the pictures
when i listen
to the sounds
and when i see
your name
painted the town.
it is rediscovered
every morning when
i awake
for you are
my first thought
and when
i lay to
rest
for you
are my
last
prayer
of thanks

to speak
frankly,
your kisses
rediscover me
they are
the fresh
the organic
the rhythms
in my ears
the throbs
in my chest
and...
you...
are my rediscovery
and every moment
is worth the most
no matter
the time
the place
the situation
the circumstance.
every time we are
apart i yearn to
shout what once
was spoken
"Come back
so I can tell you,
I know what matters
now-you" (r&h)

to speak frankly,
i love you

"there's no need to
complicate
our time is short
this is our fate,
i'm yours" -j.mraz